Grief is something we will all unfortunately experience at one time or another in our lifetimes. It comes in many forms and there are varying degrees of the grief we will feel. No matter that form or degree, grief is always an unwelcome visitor at your door.
When grief first comes it arrives like an angry steam roller, barreling through and flattening everything in its path. It doesn’t have eyes to see what’s in front of it so it doesn’t know what it’s destroying.
It doesn’t care that you loved something more than anything else in this world. It doesn’t care if you don’t know how you’ll get through each minute of each day. It doesn’t care that you feel like you’ve been shattered into a million different pieces that can’t ever be put back together again.
When grief moves in it hangs the heavy, dark drapes on all the windows so the sunlight can’t make its way through them. It makes everything cold to where you don’t know if you’ll ever feel the warmth again. It takes all the beautiful colors of the rainbow away and replaces them with a thousand different shades of gray.
You can try and hide from it but it won’t go away. It knows all the places you go to in hopes of it not finding you. It sees you in the dark with your head buried in the pillow. It finds you in the shower and in your car. It slaps you in the face while looking at pictures or reading a book to a 4 year old. You might think it can’t find you in your quiet place of worshiping your higher power, but it knows where that’s at, too. Grief pulls up a chair and deposits itself right next to you and it’s not leaving anytime soon.
If you try to ignore grief’s existence you won’t be successful. The longer you do try and ignore it the harder it will be to get through it. Grief most certainly will demand to be dealt with eventually so you may as well let it in the door now.
Sit with grief for as long as it takes.
Ask grief why it showed up at your door.
Cry uncontrollable tears at grief.
Yell at grief.
Be silent with grief.
Tell grief you hate its existence.
Scream at grief.
Tell grief why you’re angry.
Tell grief why you’re full of rage.
Tell grief that things are not fair.
Ask grief how long things will be like this.
Ask grief how long you will hurt like this.
Ask grief if you will ever see the light again.
Ask grief if you will ever feel the warmth again.
Ask grief if you will ever see the beautiful colors of the rainbow again.
Ask grief if you will ever be okay again.
Beg grief to never show up again.
Sit quietly with the grief that has made a permanent home inside you.
Realize that no one is immune to grief.
Come to terms with the fact that grief is a part of life and our door will be knocked on by the unwelcome visitor at some point during everyone’s time here.
A very good description of Grief I have to say. ! Everyone says that you will get better over time, but it is not true I know. I lost my baby sister, Sherri, June19 of 2017, and it has been rough. I wrote to her almost every day for a while and it helped. Saw signs from her that let me know that she is ok (dragon fly , rainbows, even pennies and dimes on the ground have meaning to me and I will smile when I find them !!! Had lots of dreams about her right after , but not as many now as I would like. Loved this and it does put Grief in perspective. I see that you are a medium. Would love to chat sometime. ! .
Thank you Lisa
Thank you, Cathy. I know that our loved ones who’ve passed are always close by. I’m still so deep in my grief that I’m not noticing the signs my husband is here, or, maybe I’m just missing them completely. I don’t think time heals all of our wounds, I think it just makes them hurt a little less. It will be a long time before that happens for me in this case. I take one minute at a time as one day at a time is too much right now.