One of the definitions of the word sanctuary is a place of refuge or safety. Most people think of a sanctuary as a physical place. For some, it is exactly that. For others, that sanctuary can be found in the form of another person. They can provide you a different kind of refuge and safety than a geographical location can.
Since my husband died I feel like I’ve lost my sanctuary. He was my refuge from everything in life that I couldn’t handle on my own, which in hindsight, was quite a lot. He was my safe place where I knew I could always find shelter. Many storms were weathered in the safe harbor he provided so unselfishly to me for more than half my life.
Having your sanctuary ripped away from you leaves you feeling lost. You retreat and withdraw because you don’t know what else to do. But hiding your face in a dark corner can only continue for so long. You have to eventually step out into the light a little bit because you can’t survive in the dark forever. The dark is unhealthy and we weren’t meant to live there.
You’re forced to try and find your sanctuary in other ways.
You might find it by filling the blank pages of a notebook with all the words that describe the unbearable grief and loneliness you’re feeling. It might be on the other end of a phone line with a trusted friend as they listen to you cry, again. You may find it in the back pew of a church listening to that one sentence the pastor speaks that you were supposed to hear. It might be found in creating a new habit with your grandchild so they never forget the loved one who left much sooner than they should have. It can also be found sitting alone in your car in a parking lot on a rainy day if need be.
While the above things won’t be the same as the sanctuary that other person gave you, they might bring you some much needed peace, if only for a bit. In time, they may be able to start to fill the void left inside you when your sanctuary was taken away.